Don’t pressure yourself to succeed

Are you constantly frustrated with a growing list of things to accomplish in your life? Do you have the feeling that no matter how hard you try; Can you never do it? I’m not talking about a to-do list, but about goals and plans. Here’s the thing: You’ll never get it all done, so stop putting that burden on yourself. Often, we give top priority to wanting to achieve certain goals, like being in a romantic relationship, getting a promotion at work, or moving to another city. We feel that by accomplishing these things, it will change our life or increase our happiness. But sometimes the pursuit of our goals can cause more disappointment than the success of reaching them.

Similarly, many newcomers to personal growth set out to change their lives and become disillusioned when they encounter resistance and a lack of change. It’s disheartening when you’ve spent months or years changing a behavior without seeing significant results. I have been actively pursuing personal development for over fifteen years and experienced significant disappointments along the way. I do not pretend to be more advanced than anyone because our journey is a lifelong mission. However, there comes a point when you invest enough time and effort to create a solid foundation of wisdom and clarity. The message is simple: Placing demands on how far along we should be in our lives puts pressure on ourselves to succeed.

Are you satisfied, your journey is different from others and should not be compared, even when things are not working out? Within your failures are important lessons meant to help you grow and expand. It’s when you stop doing the work that things regress. Clearly you are reading this because you are involved in your personal development or interested in the message this article has to convey. The journey of personal growth is not about achieving our goals, but about becoming the person who pursues the goal.. I like it for someone who runs 10 miles every day but never gets into a marathon. Yes, they will get fit, but if they don’t intend to compete in a race, they will have achieved their results anyway because they are showing up to get the job done.

Growth is rarely linear

Regardless of your goal, you are likely to make mistakes along the way and experience failure. But these are turning points that decide if you reach your goal and who you become. I have trained hundreds of people over the last decade who have set out to achieve great goals. Many of my clients achieved them, but some discovered an inner emptiness because their goals were not linked to a larger purpose. Some people’s goals were not altruistic but selfish, based on what they believed would make them happy. Some were material goals, without a clear intention to pursue them.

So we must do what we can today, even if it is the smallest task. The key is to show up consistently and not drop the ball. If we miss the opportunity to meet our goals, we must try again tomorrow because trying is more important for our self-esteem than giving up. Even defeat and failure have a purpose, and we can learn to take advantage of these negative states instead of feeling powerless over them. Similarly, we can choose a Growth mindset over a Fixed mindset. What we decide will dictate how we move towards our goals. Does this make sense? Do you get the impression that it’s not about doing everything, but rather about taking care of the smallest task consistently? Growth is not linear, nor does it follow a projected pattern. Growth is cyclical like ocean tides. Sometimes the tides are larger and more violent and other times small and calm. However, the intensity of our lessons does not decide the level of our achievement.

For example, tides are governed by the gravitational pull of the moon. They are influenced by the coastline and the shape of the bay, and local wind and weather patterns. Therefore, we cannot draw a conclusion about tidal patterns because they will vary. The same goes for our personal growth; sometimes we will make significant progress to improve our lives, but other times things will seem stagnant, as if we are stuck. I’ve seen this in my personal development where I was making progress and things were going perfectly and then all of a sudden nothing! There would be periods where nothing happened, no matter how hard he tried. I was stuck, but that was not the case. I was called upon to integrate my previous lessons and use the downtime wisely before continuing.

So whether you’re working on personal change, keep in mind that growth is rarely linear. It will rise and fall like the tides of the ocean. When you learn a new lesson, a recession will often follow to cement your understanding so you can focus on your personal growth. Don’t worry about what will come next because the next tide will come soon and depending on what you have done in the previous period, it will decide your next move. So for now, do you spend some time examining three areas of your life where you feel like you’re not achieving your goals? Journal the lessons learned from your experience? What does life ask you to learn? Are you willing to be patient and focus on integrating these lessons into your life? It is when we stop burdening ourselves with the burden of doing everything, that everything will be achieved, in an easy and effortless way.