It’s common to feel like you only want to get back together with an ex boyfriend after the relationship ends. It is a loss. And when we feel a loss in life, we just want things to go back to the way they were. We want to be able to recover that thing or that person that we lost. But that’s not always the right solution. Sometimes it’s better for a relationship to come to an end. Sometimes that’s really the way we can go out and find someone who might be a better fit for us.

That’s why you want to consider the possibility that getting it back isn’t the right thing to do.

Because this could be a chance for you to find someone new and find someone better. I remember a relationship I had several years ago. When we broke up, it seemed like something bad was going on. It was like, “No…it’s not supposed to be like that at all.” That’s how I felt. And I felt that way for a LONG time. But as the days and weeks passed, he could remember the breakup with clear eyes. I could look back and see that maybe we weren’t supposed to be together forever.

That was something he didn’t want to admit at first.

But it was true.

Because I put someone else. Someone I ended up having so much more fun with. Someone I’d rather be with. And that couldn’t have happened if I had stayed in my old relationship. Sure, there were tears that I had to let out. And there were many moments where I just wanted all the pain of the breakup to go away. But those emotions passed.

Today I can look back and realize that things happened the way they were supposed to. That’s the funny thing about life. The moment something happens, it can seem completely wrong. But when you can look back, you can see that maybe things happened exactly the way they did.

That old boyfriend?

He ended up meeting someone who was a better match for him. The last thing he heard was that he was happily married. And I can honestly say that I’m happy that happened with him. So as bad as it seems right now? It can be better. And you can get to a place where you’re happy for him if he finds someone else…

And you can be happy yourself.

That is really the ultimate goal that we should all have. To find happiness in our relationships. We shouldn’t want to get our ex back if it means it’s going to cost us our happiness.

It’s normal to feel like you just want them back. Sometimes that’s the right approach. Often it’s actually better to keep an eye out for someone who’s more suited to you!