I recently spent some time with my two beautiful children doing nothing. Oh how precious. What is doing nothing? Nothing for us meant spending time together without distractions. No distractions from driving, restaurants, amusement parks, crowds of people, shopping malls, beaches or party activities. We did? We spend quality time together. Talk, share, relive childhood memories, laugh, joke and cry. Unconsciously, we temporarily forget the outside world, the time of day, life situations. We were creating good memories for the future.

Often at funerals and memorial services, we learn things about a person that we never met; and we wish we had gotten to know the person more deeply. We wish we could have spent more quality time with them and created more good memories. Not having, or taking advantage of, the opportunity to do so can lead to guilt, one of the deepest emotions of grievance. Guilt for things you didn’t do, things you wanted to do, things you couldn’t do. To move forward with this grievance emotion, start looking at your own life. Determine what things you can do with family and friends to start or continue creating good memories.

Make quality time high on your schedule for family and friends. You will be so glad you did. Here is an exercise to get you started:

Set aside several hours to dedicate to this exercise. Schedule a time that works for you and the person you choose to spend this quality time with, i.e. a family member, a close friend, a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, a mentor, etc. Set the parameters for this time so both of you agree. I suggest the following:

• No cell phones, iPads, etc.
• A place away from home or office to avoid distractions
• No time constraints to rush to finish time together
• Uninvited guests are not allowed

Well, I’m sure you get the point. I’m willing to bet that many will find this exercise difficult to do, especially if they stick to the “no cell phone” parameter.

Remember that every day you are creating a legacy for family and friends that you will one day leave behind. Why not make the decision to leave them with many good memories?

I’d love to hear your results. How did you feel after the exercise? Will you do it again? Why or why not?