I still vividly remember an encounter with a young man who was physically abused during his childhood and adolescence by his father. His mother left his father and remarried and this caused his father to vent his anger on him continually. I came into contact with this young man in 1980 during my National Youth Service; he was serving in the same city with me. After a medical consultation for a minor ailment, he made an appointment to discuss some personal matters with me. It was then that he revealed how much suffering he had suffered at the hands of his father and how many attempts he had made to commit suicide, including lying on a busy highway to be hit by a car. I listened to him, counseled him, and prayed with him that God would give him the grace and power to forgive his father. [who incidentally had become his tormentor, the very antithesis of what a father should be]. I also led him in a prayer for the healing of all the sad memories of the abuse of him. A year later, he was writing to thank me and also to tell me that he is living a normal and happy life, free from the desire to end his life.

It is very important that adults who were abused as children deal with the side effects of their experience if they are to live healthy and purposeful lives. Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin were two people who were severely physically abused by their often drunken parents when they were young; they nurtured anger in themselves and took up occupations that gave them perspectives to vent anger on unsuspecting people. Millions of lives were lost because of the evil unleashed by these people upon the world. There is no question that child physical abuse can cast a shadow long enough to cover a person’s life and thus hold them captive for the rest of their life. People who have recovered from horrible cases of child abuse and continued to live lives of purpose have applied some of these measures:

1. They chose to forgive their tormentors and sought healing for their emotional wounds. In this way, they wiped their slate clean of all the grudges they held against their parents or caregivers.

2. They sought professional help when they felt overwhelmed by the mental consequences of repressed anger, such as depression.

3. They discussed their experience with close friends and a support group and this brought relief and healing.

4. They disclosed their history to their doctor just in case that was the underlying cause of their current mental health problem.

5. They abandoned useless coping strategies, such as trying to get revenge on those who hurt them or choosing to inflict harm on innocent people because of what they have suffered in life.

6. Something to get involved in causes that have to do with the prevention of child abuse in homes. In this way, they sought to make homes safer for children.

7. Some sought refuge in the Christian faith that teaches forgiveness and became active in the church. Being actively involved in the church not only healed their wounds but also made them channels of blessings to other people who are suffering.