Research shows that talking to strangers, not people in your comfort zone, is the most powerful key to a creative career and business move. However, many people resist. Sometimes they do not understand the concept of networking. Other times, impossible goals are set. Here are some guidelines for networking for your second career, home, or life.

Create your own CAST support

C= Cover story. When you’re in the middle of your life, in the middle of your career, you can’t seem like an eager, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed rookie. He may not feel comfortable calling to say, “I’m thinking of becoming a certified beach blanket analyst. Can we talk?” Decide if you’re looking for information, clients, or both, and plan a positive opening that introduces you as a professional colleague, not a beggar.

A = Action. Start anywhere! Talk to people, even those who seem unrelated to your dream. As you speak, you will hear yourself refining your goal and moving toward the truth. Start with the nicest and friendliest sources you know and ask them for referrals.

S= slow. It takes time to build a network. Start before you need one, if possible. If you’re starting from scratch, don’t rush. Desperation drives away your best resources.

T = target. Connect with those who can help, not necessarily the easiest to find. Sitting across a table with eight potential clients gets you started, but pick a networking event with eight referral sources and you’ll move forward faster. Talking to ten sales assistants probably won’t help you learn how managers hire salespeople.

“No way, not me!”

When you’re really resistant to networking, we have to consider: You’re not enthusiastic enough about the goal of building momentum.

He’s happily ensconced in a comfort zone and needs an anti-gravity rocket to get away.

You’d rather be boiled in oil than call and mingle.

You have unique challenges about the way you are: you are too non-conformist or too “different” to be effective

You’re exhausted just thinking about it.

I will not ask you to become a new person, although I do encourage responsible risk-taking and experimentation with new styles of behavior.

It is true that the greatest rewards will go to those who can work with a crowd effectively. My old colleague “Xavier” could give a twenty-minute talk and walk out with at least three free-spending clients.

However, you can create an unconventional plan that builds on your strengths and allows you to connect with strangers. You can take or teach a class, join an organization, aggressively promote your website, and more. Your progress may be slower than your friend, the network champion, but if you persevere, you can reach your own goal without sacrificing your own sense of identity.