Dating can be a frustrating game. Quite often you will find that the men you seek will put up barriers to keep you in line, while the men who come after you elicit not the slightest emotion. The reason for much of this lies in the psychology of human behavior, which may be at the root of many cases of repeated dating failures. Keep reading to know more.

There is a saying in life that everything you chase runs away and this is very true in early relationships. And it’s not just men who run. If you’ve ever had a man who’s too strong at the beginning of a relationship, then you know how creepy and nasty he can be.

When someone tells you that they want to spend their future with you, before you’re ready for it, it can seem like a big burden. The weight of your expectations may be too much to bear, especially if they imply that your future happiness depends on reciprocating your feelings. This is too much responsibility for most men (and women too) when they haven’t even begun to think about commitment.

Many men enjoy the dating phase of a relationship and take their time making decisions about their future with a woman. Unfortunately, many women allow themselves to commit to a man and a relationship when they barely know him and he just isn’t ready. She can reveal her feelings by verbally speaking to her in “the talk” or show that she has expectations by complaining about what he is not doing in the relationship. The psychological effect of this transition from dating to relationship is probably the most common cause of repeated dating failures.

The doubt and negativity that arise in these situations show the full weight of her implicit expectations, and he begins to feel trapped and seeks a way out. This is compounded by his reaction when he pulls out. Her subsequent need to not let him go without a fight shows her that he has her wrapped around her little finger. The chase is over and the romance is gone as he struggles to break free of his attachment to her.

It is not wise to discuss a future with a man before a level of emotional dependency has developed. If it’s too soon, you’ll scare him off. Love can be compared to an addiction. If you produce pleasant feelings in another person on a regular basis, they will develop a level of emotional attachment to you. If you allow him to fall for you, without feeling like you’re trying to trap him into something he’s not sure he wants, then commitment can happen naturally.

One way he’ll feel more secure with you is when you don’t pressure him to do things he doesn’t want to do, like spending time with you. When he spends more time with you than he wants to, you quickly wear down your welcome, but when you leave prematurely, you leave him wanting more. Whether you’re talking to him on the phone or going on a date, remember this principle and go out while you’re still having fun.

Also keep in mind that it is part of human nature to not value what is freely available to us and to yearn for what remains out of reach. Something isn’t valuable to us if we don’t have to work for it. You would do well to remember this dating principle, particularly when it comes to sex. Throw yourself at a man’s feet at your peril. He’ll stomp on you and then he’ll be gone. However, he will happily sleep with you first, if you let him. If you make him work a little harder to get you, he’ll value you more, and that extra value can often translate into long-term commitment. Of course, you must respect and value yourself first.

If you want your relationship to last, you have to meet his emotional needs while presenting yourself as a challenge. This means maintaining your respect and dignity at all times and not giving yourself away. Let him chase you and you will appeal to his psychological need to chase his prize. The key is to keep your balance during dating. Make him feel good and then let him miss you. When you keep him wanting a little more, he will find you the relationship you want.