Aphrodisiac foods have a long history, the word aphrodisiac itself being derived from the name of the ancient Greek goddess Aphrodite, goddess of love, fertility and sexual ecstasy. In ancient times, aphrodisiacs were highly sought after as promoters of fertility and sexual appetite, in light of this, perhaps the link between food and sex does not seem so tenuous. Both sexual appetite and fertility are related to nutrition; the better nourished a person is, the more likely it is that she will be able to conceive successfully, whereas a malnourished person will be not only less fertile, but also less libidinous. Perhaps not surprisingly then, in ancient and modern cultures where malnutrition was common and reproduction an imperative for survival, the belief arose that certain foods were linked to sexual appetite and fertility.

Chief among these aphrodisiacs were foods with strong seed or semen symbolism, so eggs, bulbs, snails, etc., were favored for their outward resemblance to testicles, but anise, rocket seeds, sage and pistachios increased male potency.

So far, so tasty (possibly apart from the snails depending on your tastes) and it is tempting to attribute the association of food and sex to a simple parallel between bodily pleasures; namely, that food and sex are the things we enjoy most on a basic level, and that people with full bellies are more willing to seek other distractions, but wait! We haven’t delved into the churtier side of the stomach of aphrodisiac ‘foods’ yet! Fancy some sparrow stew, anyone? How about a roasted skink spit (a type of lizard)? Powdered rhino horn is very good tonight sir, or for traditionalists there’s always the perennial favourite: frog spit! And yet, the list goes on, if the Kama Sutra is to be believed, then the pinnacle of sexy cooking is a ram or goat testicle boiled in sweetened milk.

Really, it’s enough to make your stomach churn, and there could be few less sexy or alluring ways to spend a date than with your head buried in the toilet bowl and scooping up stewed sparrow and mutton nads. So here are some suggestions for supposedly aphrodisiac foods that you might actually want to try on a date:

First up are the oysters, the oyster’s aphrodisiac attributes are rumored to be related to its resemblance to the vagina in appearance and taste. Make of it what you will, but oysters certainly are sensual food, slithering and slurping their way down the throat in an appealingly messy fashion.

As a second course you can try a prawn cocktail served in half an avocado. The name avocado comes from the Aztec ‘Ahuacuatl’, which roughly translates to ‘testicle tree’ (just don’t think goats!) and prawns and shrimp when cooked and peeled have an obvious phallic connotation. Alternatively, if you don’t want to go overboard with the seafood, you could try a warm asparagus salad garnished with quail eggs instead of this dish, I’m sure I don’t need to explain the underlying symbolism there!

For a main course, why not try the pasta in garlic and truffle sauce? The rich, dark aroma and flavor of truffles have strong connections to mother earth/fertility goddess mythology, and the heat generated by a generous dose of garlic is supposed to generate a different type of heat in other parts of the body. . Obviously, with garlic-heavy recipes, it’s important to make sure both parties enjoy themselves if the evening goes on as planned!

And to finish? What else but chocolate? Chocolate contains many substances that directly affect the brain, including theobromine, which is similar to caffeine (also believed to have aphrodisiac qualities). Sweet and spicy foods also have the effect of making you feel indulged and pampered, which is the perfect state for seduction. The ideal dessert for your aphrodisiac banquet would be a rich dark chocolate and espresso mousse, bittersweet and spicy. Of course, that’s assuming you get to the dessert stage!

Seriously, it’s highly doubtful that eating a meal like the one described above will have any effect on your sexual potency and/or fertility, but pleasing yourself and your partner can hardly be a bad thing as a prelude to a night of passion. If you really want to improve your sex drive through diet, eat plenty of fish and fresh vegetables and eat a diet low in alcohol and cholesterol as part of a long-term approach.

Enjoy!