If you could build your ideal man, from top to bottom, describe him…

Genuine.Safe. Friendly sweetie. Loyal. Not a smoker at all. Non-drinker.

Great hygiene, nothing smells better than clean. Okay, maybe evergreens

Kissable lips and teeth. Warm and tender hands. Value love, friends, family, and the simple pleasures in life. Know the difference between monogamy and mahogany.

Stable and trustworthy, solid character. It wouldn’t hurt if he was handsome, but looks aren’t everything to me. Common sense, respect and intelligence are more important.

What do you think is the most attractive part of the man’s body?

Eyes: In my observation, the way a man looks at you or doesn’t look at you usually tells you everything you need to know about how he feels about you.

What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Oh darling. I think I just listed the above in question 1. Let me add that qualities are more important than looks. Appearance matters, yes, but to me it’s more about basic common sense than particular traits (ie, tall, dark, and handsome). Short, sweet and sexy is fine if he commits to genuinely being who he is so that I can genuinely decide if I want his presence in my reality.

What do you want in a relationship?

Fellowship. Connection. Life partner. Purity of intention on both sides. Linkage. Respect, honor and healthy communication. Someone to snuggle with and share quiet moments, socializing, family, etc. Someone who accepts me as I am, appreciates me without trying to change me. A man unafraid to talk about injustice who walks tall in life, integrity is his way of being no matter what we do.

What do you consider a romantic evening?

Walking and talking is always an easy pleasure. From there holding hands and walking and talking, hehehe… or having dinner or having a coffee together in a quiet corner where we can continue enjoying ourselves and focusing on each other. Or a night of dancing, I love to dance… you can dance for hours… Or a winter picnic with a thermos of mocha under the moon also works

Do you like being fed by your date?

It’s an uncomfortable feeling for me, actually a bit annoying in public. The fork was so loaded that some food landed on my dress, but I politely complied where I should have politely declined rather than let him fork it in his “flashy” way (yes, he’s not “he” lol)

How many dates should a couple go on before having sex?

That must be decided by the couple. There is no rule and no one should listen to anyone because everyone has different thoughts, ideas and values ​​on this very personal matter. For me, I can’t just hook up and have sex. It is not and never will be who I am. Some have no problem with it and I can’t judge them just because it doesn’t work for me. We are all different and even the word “relationship” describes something different for all of us.

What do you think is the biggest mistake women make when dating?

Many women seem to forget that reality matters and should not ignore problems or red flags early in a relationship. For example, if he criticizes you or has something to do with you in any way or is still focused on his ex or if you’re arguing in the first couple of weeks, look at it clearly and decide if this is something you want more of. . Instead of pushing past red flags just because your ideals or emotional longings/needs are pushing you forward when your intuitive self knows best. I know because I did this. Getting in touch with yourself, being very clear about what you want is vital. Many men don’t enjoy my clarity, or so they say in cold texts to let me know my standards are too high, but not for me anyway. Be patient. Recognize that nothing is perfect and never will be. We don’t really need perfect, we just need perfect for us. Stay grounded in reality, keep it classy. A friend in our age group (40-50) said that he would get very depressed seeing boob pictures of women obviously over 50 who were out partying and dressed like Brittany Spears wannabes. That made me feel very sad, and yet he told me a lot about valuing my own standards. Of course, intimacy in relationships is very important to me. However, personally I don’t want to project that I am just that. If men don’t “read” my profile accurately, then again, they’re not for me.

… the biggest mistake men make?

Assuming anything about women/one woman or talking about all the women who still want them. I’ve talked about taking on more men online than anywhere else in my life. Years ago in a public relations course, I learned that the word “assume” stands for ASS of U and ME. It really does. Talking to me about all the women who like you just tells me that you’re arrogant or insecure and that I’m not for that guy anyway. I don’t want them to need me, but I do want them to want me. I found that telling those men about all the men who still want you doesn’t level the playing field at all, they can’t even hear us anyway. I’ve probably blocked close to 500 men in the last three years on various dating sites. I really can’t remember. Only a handful were really interesting to talk to, so far, and they seemed as genuine as their chat profiles. Almost ready to call it quits after three years of being single and finding so much bland attitude out there. It doesn’t really matter how many questionnaires dating sites have to improve your match. Anyone can be whatever they want online. Illusions and delusions are rampant online. The real world exposes your true self. Be prepared for constant rejection if you are trading on a person online who turns out to be fake over the phone or in person. Keep it real. My retired Irish pilot friend rarely swears, but he did once when he shared an old familiar phrase “there’s a butt for every seat.” Keeping it real, what you REALLY want, photos of how it REALLY looks NOW, ensures your chances of finding a matching seat instead of wasting time. This basic respect applies to both genders though, really, in my opinion. Usually on the third email – emails directly from the man himself, not a back and forth question. A dating site trick that wastes my time because the cons can beat any machine. I can see for myself if I want to go to the phone or stop things. just there.

Do you think it’s possible to be in a long-term monogamous relationship, like until death do us part?

Yes. The commitment has to be from both parties. That’s the only flaw these days. People are often too busy wondering what they’ve been missing to appreciate what they’ve found is what I’ve discovered. More men I spoke to and/or met face to face came back to say things like “You were so real,” “You were the best woman I met here,” or “I never should have let you go,” etc. It’s not priority number nine and I won’t settle for someone who can’t see who I am in the first place. I know what I want in a man and I will know it when he finds it, instead of doubts and questions arising in my mind, I will know calmly, in silence. be highly addictive for many who cannot disconnect from their gadgets and machines for long. enough to even forge a connection to the real world let alone build a meaningful relationship. Another friend tells me that women are just as slippery about any real-world commitment, from reluctance to meet in the real world to thinking they’ll miss a better person if they leave the online world behind, as I’ve found many men. . be. That being said, I still believe that if both parties are truly committed to each other, it can go on forever. It requires work, but being loyally married for three decades. I know what that job looks like: It’s not as hard as we think if a couple is really a team, as anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship knows.

How does a couple who have been together for a long time keep the spark in their relationship?

In my opinion, both of you need to remember that nothing will ever be the same again. But the bonding continues at deeper levels if both of you are willing to continue to truly build and work together to overcome challenges. This is the foundation that I have seen time and time again in long lasting relationships. We are all human and when we open our mouths, our brains unfold whether we like it or not. Our actions also test whether or not we walk what we preach. If we see something unpleasant or questionable in the opening act, so to speak, lol, we have every right to record our observations or question what we see in order to make healthy decisions for ourselves. Blindly walking into a relationship based on whatever is going on inside our own heads is a bringer of disaster, in any relationship, even friendship, as I have painfully discovered. Know what you want in because it’s the bond you build that will help you pass the relationship tests. The flames of love can always be rekindled or higher, is my personal belief…if we don’t quench the spark with our own fantasies and unrealistic expectations.

What do you consider a romantic song?

Bruno Mars-It’s going to rain

madonna – crazy about you

Spandau Ballet – True

Who is your favorite celebrity?

Oh boy, this is hard. I’m not much into the fame/celebrity world so I’m really struggling. If I can think of someone, I’ll come back to this question later.

What is a typical night with Aurora like?

Boring, haha. Quite a homebody at night, I usually do chores, make some dinner (sometimes yogurt or cereal), write, read, maybe watch a movie, or catch up with friends on the phone. I don’t like texting or having devices attached to my butt, I prefer quiet simplicity and a nice but fairly simple life. Social media maintenance is probably the most complex thing I do, I try not to get stuck there because I start to resent the time wasted with the “machines”. Write anything from poetry and blog(s) to poetry on my blog. A walk if the weather allows it and in summer a visit to the park, a walk by the sea or simply reading in the patio listening to the song of the leaves inspired by the breeze. Still, if the right company came along, he could say “let’s say goodnight to the stars” at midnight.

When you sleep, do you prefer pajamas or in the buff?

Personally, I prefer pajamas, I think it’s mom’s programming, “always make sure you have clean underwear in case you have an accident”, like we would care about that if we had an accident, hahaha. I am dependent on the situation as well as my eclectic taste in music. If a couple shows up, I can wear a more feminine dress or robe or… who knows… we’re all different, but a normal night will find me in regular pajamas or an oversized cotton T-shirt for summer nights. .

Dating someone is difficult at any age. We hope that as we grow and mature, it will get easier. We have all seen that with maturity comes baggage that stains our actions and decisions. Are you succeeding in dating? If you have a secret, I’d love for you to share it!