It’s quite common for parents, especially first-time parents, to have no real idea of ​​what is “normal” for a child their child’s age. This guide is written as a “translator,” a way of using the words a teacher might be using to describe your child’s behavior to understand your child’s brain. Teachers are often hesitant to label a student with ADHD (in some states, they are legally not allowed to do so), which means that as a parent, the onus is on you to recognize it when it is described.

The teacher says: “Your child does not complete the work”

Ask your teacher: why not? If the teacher describes a series of situations in which your child became engrossed in a non-work assignment and forgot the assignment existed, consider the potential for ADHD to cause that kind of distraction. If the teacher describes your child as being frustrated that other kids were being loud or disruptive, or just staring out the window instead of finishing, you may have a child who really wants to do homework, but literally can’t.

The teacher says: “Your son is always talking”

If your teacher complains that your child is constantly interrupting the person who should be speaking, or can’t seem to keep quiet during quiet time, consider the potential of ADHD to make you forget the “rules” of school conversation. . Children with ADHD often blur their thoughts without a filter. If your teacher complains that your student uses a lot of words to get to the “point” when answering a question, that’s also a classic sign of ADHD.

The teacher says, “Your son doesn’t get along.”

Ask your teacher: when? Children with ADHD often have trouble dealing with frustration when they don’t get what they want, often feeling like they have to have the last word. This can lead to some amazing shouting matches, but also some completely failed attempts at co-op time. If they get along when they’re not “in the spotlight,” but not when their performance is being deliberately observed, ADHD is a strong possibility.

The teacher says: “Your son never pays attention”

If your teacher complains that your child asks “what?” or other simple broad questions, even when they seemed to be listening, or act like they understood but then clearly had no idea what they were supposed to do, that’s a great indicator of ADHD. Kids with ADHD are often smart enough to present the right look (i.e., listen or understand instructions) even when their brains are really busy building Minecraft buildings instead of listening. But when it’s time to show your understanding… it’s just not there.

Understanding how a teacher views a student with ADHD, whether or not they acknowledge it, can help you understand precisely how and why your student might need some well-deserved help to “succeed” in school. The worst thing you can do is force them to keep failing when the potential for them to thrive is just an open recognition away.