There is no pride when you have to pay rent.

That’s the first thing I learned when I moved out on my own. This fact was painfully amplified when I began to support my family.

It starts with having a safety net to turn to that includes your parents, friends, or family. Then that goes back to the banks and credit cards. Then your last line of defense, personal loans and pawn shops. If you’ve ever walked into a pawn shop or payday loan lender, there is usually a feeling of shame or failure that goes along with it.

“How did I end up here?”

“Why has this happened to me?”

“Why does it cost $ 500 or more to fix any problems with my car?”

Sounds familiar? Well I’m here to tell you, THIS IS THE LIFE. Expect bad things to happen and believe me, no one is immune. At some point in everyone’s life, things suck. You have 2 options: look at it as a challenge to overcome or throw in the towel. I’ve never been a towel-throwing type of guy, so here are some tips.

Leave the shame at the door

It doesn’t matter how you look in front of other people. Let me repeat it, how you look in front of other people doesn’t matter!

Your neighbors, your family, your friends, your children’s teachers, the postman, I really don’t care who it is. These people are not paying your bills or supporting your family, YOU ARE!

If you are not willing to sacrifice a little dignity and pride, you chose the wrong planet to live on. In every situation I’ve gotten myself into, I’ve repeated these words over and over in my head: “The worst thing they can do is say no.” Seriously, that’s the worst thing they can do. If they say no, just say “Thank you” and walk out the door. No one has ever been arrested for asking a question.

Be good

This is such a simple thing, but you’d be surprised how many people can’t do it. One thing to remember, everyone likes to deal with someone who is understanding, patient, and polite. The people behind the counter are human beings, just like you. They have their own lives and getting frustrated with them won’t solve any of your problems. In general, I’ve found that the kinder I am and the easier I make things for them, the more they go out of their way to please me. Extra days to pay, staying open 5 minutes later because I was late, all because I was nice. It has always seemed strange to me to argue with someone who lends me money.

Always return phone calls

This goes hand in hand with being nice. If you are behind on something, not talking to your lender only makes things worse. In my experience, they are always willing to solve something with you. When they never hear from you is when they start to take drastic measures. I worked in car collections when I started my career. It would never fail. I would call a person for 2 months in a row and never speak to them. Guess what happened after your car was repossessed? They couldn’t call me fast enough. Avoiding the problem only made it worse. If they had called and made arrangements, they would probably still be driving their car. Contrary to what some people think, auto lenders DON’T WANT YOUR CAR! The average loss in a recovery is $ 5,000.00. They would rather you keep driving and paying for your car.

Hopefully, these tips will help you mentally prepare for whatever financial situation comes your way. I discovered that the internal force conquers the external force every day of the week.