Is your boyfriend, girlfriend, another friend, family member, or significant other pushing food? Has anyone made you feel guilty by saying “I’ve been cooking all day making this meal?” They say try this, try that, is that all you’re eating?

Saying No thanks should be enough, but often, a food pusher has already spooned a few spoonfuls of your food onto your plate before you can even see the food you already have on your plate. Sometimes an overzealous tablemate will overorder all the dishes and ask for extra forks and spoons for everyone. By doing this, they become not only yours but also others’. In fact, someone zoomed in on my mouth with a fork full of food as he was saying Open wide! When someone is trying to control what you eat, they may also be trying to control you. What do you do when this happens?

You may need a new language to refuse food without despising your love or friendship. Saying No thanks, I’m fine may not always be enough. Sometimes you have to reach out while stirring the incoming food; a double whammy of a verbal statement with a physical action could be the perfect recipe to protect yourself from your pusher.

How to back pusher – a few things to say:

1. No thanks, I’m fine.
2. No thanks, I’m fine.
3. Nothing for me, but go ahead.
4. I don’t want it. (I don’t like.)
5. I’m just not hungry.
6. I ate a big lunch.
7. I’m fine.
8. It’s too much food for me; I am a small person.
9. I’ve had enough.
10. Try some of mine. (reverse paper)
11. I have to eat with __________ later.
12. I’ll eat some and put the rest in a doggy bag.
13. Go ahead and eat and I’ll keep you company.
14. I just enjoy being here with you and relaxing while I eat.

Some things you can do:

A. Ask questions and wait for answers between bites of food.
b. Drink water before eating again.
vs. Distract your pusher from paying attention to what’s on his plate.
d. Thank the pusher for being so nice as you smile and push the food away.

Use any of the above suggestions alone or in combination with each other. I always tell others that if the plate in front of you contains pickled octopus eyeballs, you will most likely find a way not to eat it.